Straight Jacket Mayhem
by E-chan Tenjou
Summary: E-chan and Katie-sama try to survive in Ohtori Academy


  
  
STRAIGHT JACKET MAYHEM!!!!!   
Chapter 1!  
E-chan was wondering how he always got into these things. The screen pans wide to reveal he's in his dorm, in his pajamas only, he's also in a straight jacket. Why does the dean have to pick on me?? thought E-chan. Akio was sitting in E-chan's favorite chair about five feet away from where E-chan was sitting on his bed.   
Akio was dragging on a cigarette grinning evilly. "you look so cute in that outfit E-chan, you should wear it to school," the dean laughed evilly, and E-chan looked daggers at him right after sweat-dropping. Well, I guess Becka-kun would be happy, I'm in "special" clothing, thought E-chan. The dean moved over next to E-chan. E-chan *eeped* and tried to escape but Akio grabbed onto one of the straps of the straight jacket so it was all for naught. Where is Katie-sama when I need her??? E-chan thought desperately, then he remembered her dorm was next door. "KATIE!!!!!" he screamed. A voice with a very poorly imitated oriental accent came through the wall, "Miss-a Katie is-a not home at the moment, please leave a massage after the beep... BBEEEPP!!!!!!," then came the real voice of Katie, "you deserve everything you get E-chan,," a horde of evil laughter followed on both sides of the wall, one source was Katie-san, the other was Akio, "You'll get no help from her," he said, "she even let me borrow her straight jacket" Then E-chan recognized the rebel alliance symbol on all the straps of the jacket. "KATIE!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!" he screamed threateningly. "Oh am I?" came a muffled response, "I don't think your in the position to talk, I could always bring over my whips and chains for Akio's use," "what did I ever do to you?" E-chan pleaded. "I wonder," (hear a shadow girl popped up out of nowhere but Katie-san threw her sword at it so it retreated to where-ever it had come from) said Katie-sama, "the keys to my apartment just accidentally and miraculously wound up in Akio's hands yesterday, I suppose,," "Oh that," E-chan said in a tiny voice. "Now, LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled. Akio started playing with E-chan's shoulder length brown hair and E-chan *eeped*.   
Over in Utena and Anthy's apartment, Utena wondered what all the commotion was all about over near Katie-sama's dorm. I wonder if I should go check it out, thought Utena, Akio was mentioned, this could be bad. "Miss Utena-sama, is anything wrong?" Anthy asked in her sweet little voice. "I just wonder," said Utena, I wonder I wonder, Do you know what I wonder A-ko sang in her annoying voice, Do you know Do you know, Have you heard the news? asked B-ko in her own voice that was equally as annoying and sing-songy. None noticed the strange shadow people except for Becka, who cringed in a corner waiting for the terrifying aspirations to disappear. "I wonder what's going on over there by Katie-san and E-chan's dorms." finished Utena.  
"Why don't we go and see?" asked Miki, then his eyes glazed over rapidly as Wakaba turned her head and her barrette shined threateningly in the moonlight. There came the trademark call of "My Shining Thing!!" from Miki as Wakaba, for once, was glomped violently by Miki. Utena just shook her head in disbelief and walked towards the door.   
Utena and Anthy were rapidly drawing close to there destination, a.k.a. E-chan's apartment. There were strange noises coming from it.  
"Oh God," said Utena "what is Akio doing to him?" then a bright light appeared and Dios was standing before them. "yes?" he inquired in his amazingly deep and manly voice for only being eleven years old. "not you," Utena said as she sweat-dropped an amazingly big sweat-drop.   
Katie-san stepped outside her apartment to see what the commotion was all about. "Oh, Hi Utena-sama," Katie chimed happily. "hhmm," Utena said as she scanned the area then she saw Katie, "Oh, Hello Katie-san." "Good evening, Katie-sama," said Anthy in her quiet almost sing-songy voice. "What's happening to E-chan?" asked Utena who was starting to get concerned as more alarming noises started coming from E-chan's dorm. "Oh, Akio has him," said Katie happily. "what!?!?" cried Utena who immediately facefaulted in disbelief. "Yep," said Katie-sama smugly, "and he deserves every bit of it." "Noone deserves that fate!" Karen-sama said, who had popped seemingly out of nowhere, "now, we've got to save him," Dios shook his head, too late, He thought. Just then Akio walked out, smiling evilly, licked his lips and winked at Katie-san. "I'll see you later," He said then left. Katie sweat-dropped and in a tiny voice uttered, *help*. The small assembly of people walked into E-chan's dorm, and there he was laying in a broken little pile on his bed, still wearing the straight jacket though most of his pajamas were missing which is a bad thing considering his pajamas consisted of blue boxers only. Katie had a worried look on her face, I hope Akio doesn't "visit" me tonight, she thought. E-chan's voice, though a little warbled rang clear, "I will get you for this Katie-sama," Wakaba crawled in Miki attached to her hair, *save me* she croaked quietly as Miki began to glomp her violently once again. "Oh boy," said Karen-sama, "Miki,," Miki looked up to see Karen click his stopwatch, he immediately attached himself to her arm forgetting all about poor flattened Wakaba.  
Utena extracted E-chan from the straight jacket. E-chan stood shakily, then when he gained his balance he stuck his tongue out at Katie-san, "Loopy Gerbilbuns!" he said threateningly. Everyone looked at him questioningly,, WHAT?!?! everyone thought simultaneously. E-chan looked around the room, why are they giving me that look?  
he thought, all I said was I hate you Katie-san.   
The next day at Ohtori academy things were very calm, except for Katie-sama who scuttled around afraid that Akio or E-chan's revenge lie just around corner. The day passed rather uneventfully until dusk when Katie-san knocked on E-chan's door, "yes?" he called. "Can I come in??" asked Katie pitifully. "Sure," said E-chan. "Oh, thank you,," she said "I was afraid Akio would fin--d,," Katie-sama facefaulted as she entered E-chan's bedroom. There was Akio. E-chan was sitting on his bed Indian style looking down at a book that he was reading. Akio sat behind him braiding E-chan's hair. "Yes, Katie-sama," E-chan questioned, he looked up and smiled evilly. Akio smiled sweetly, a scarier site then his evil smile, and Katie sweat-dropped, "May God help me," she said under her breath. Dios appeared and smiled helpfully at Katie. Dios nodded his head at E-chan who smiled back. Dios vanished as quickly as he had come and Katie was without help once again, thinking fast she bolted out the door, tripped on a rock, stumbled over the balcony, fell one story landed soundly with a nice thump,, in, the Akio car. Katie-san *eeped* and tried to escape but then Akio jumped in on top of her, "Hello my squishy gigglebrains," he cooed. Katie melted immediately, despite she knew of the "manipulation" yet to come. Touga's voice broke the spell, "I'm an ally to all women," he said, "plus, I'm chivalrous." Akio looked up at Touga, forgot all about Katie and jumped out of the Akio car to "manipulate" Touga. Katie jumped out of the car and bolted up the stairs into E-chan's apartment. "I think we're even," he said smiling. Then Katie realized Akio had managed to manipulate her out of a good portion of her clothes, "ooooh," she huffed, "I'll see you tomorrow," E-chan laughed, rolled over and pulled the covers up to fall asleep, "remember to lock the door Katie-sama," he said as he heard the door slam.   
Chapter 2  
Katie-san woke up and became immediately aware that she was in a straight jacket, she looked around the room calmly, one of two people were responsible for this, Akio or E-chan. If it was Akio she was going to be very afraid and try to escape. If it was E-chan she was going to get very mad and go kick him out of bed. She didn't see Akio lurking anywhere, he usually sticks around for "manipulation". Then she tried to inspect the jacket more closely, then she saw it, a big silver rose imprinted on one of the straps followed by these words in small print "E-chan's personal steel-lined straight jacket!" "OH!!!! I'm gonna get you good, E-chan!!" yelled Katie-sama. "You'll change your tune when you realize its impossible to get out of my patented steel-lined straight jacket," he called back calmly. Katie fumed for a moment then realized the truth and logic in his statement, "Okay, I'm sorry, come get me out of this!!!" she pleaded. "I'll think about it," came the reply through the wall. "I'm gonna get you for this I swear it!!" Katie screamed and thrashed violently to try and escape the binding straight jacket. Katie calmed down and decided to change the subject with E-chan, this is obviously not the way to get him over here, she thought. "Hey, why do you get a silver rose?" she asked. "I have silver streaks in my hair and my duelist outfit has silver threading and sections." he responded. "You do not have silver streaks in your hair!" she said indignantly. "Yes I do," he called. "Wait, why is your voice moving E-chan??" she inquired, worried. Then she heard her front door lock click, good, she thought, he's gonna let me out!.   
"Yes, I do." said E-chan as he walked into Katie's room. Sure enough his hair was streaked with silver, why is he wearing that?!?!, thought Katie.   
E-chan was wearing a Spanish conquistadors outfit, complete with big froofy feather. The outfit was done in pink, purple, green, red, yellow, orange, silver, blue, black and a pretty, very shiny, gold.  
"wait a minute!" said Katie, "I figured out every other color, whose gold for?" "You," said E-chan Calmly. "Me?!? why gold?" she inquired. "the same reasons as me only gold." Katie sweatdropped and facefaulted, "Why don't they ever tell ME about script changes?!?!" she cried.   
Here a very surprised E-chan and Katie-sama jumped twenty feet into the air followed by a monstrous sweatdrop. The reason for this reaction, a very upset Wakaba ran through the apartment screaming, followed by a crazed and drooling Miki chanting MY SHINING THING! repeatedly. Then through the other entrance (the one Wakaba escaped through) ran a very surprised Utena followed by a very happy Wakaba yelling Utena, My love! very loudly, followed by a less crazed but still drooling Miki calling out My Shining Thing! between Wakaba's bouts of Utena My Love!. Katie and E-chan fainted in disbelief. Then, back through the door they had left through came a slightly peeved Utena being pursued by an ever happy Wakaba still calling Utena My Love! and trying to glomp Utena, followed by an ever drooling Miki giving up on his calls of My Shining Thing! and devoted his energy to catching the very shiny hairpiece he was pursuing. He in turn was being chased by a scantily clad Kozue who was rapidly losing more clothes and trying to do the same to her brother.  
Back again through the adjacent door came a very peeved Utena being followed by an ever chirpy Wakaba still chanting Utena My Love! in high pitches who was still being pursued by an ever more determined Miki who was still barely escaping being stripped by his very scantily clad sister who was now being pursued by a very happy Juri who was beginning to drool over the very scantily clad Kozue.   
Then once again through the other door the procession came again only this time Wakaba was pushed out of the ranks by a very excited Touga. So, the procession went by, a newly frantic Utena a very excited Touga Miki still running after the person in front of him though this time Touga's zipper caught his attention,,, Kozue still ran after Miki trying to grab at any article of clothing that she could, Juri pursued Kozue holding a very important piece of Kozue's clothing. Wakaba stood over by E-chan (who had lost interest and was reading) tapping her foot angrily at Touga. Katie sat on her bed and watched the procession go by laughing maniacally when appropriate.   
Once again the procession ran through, A now very angry Utena avidly followed by a very excited Touga who somehow had managed to lose his shirt still followed by Miki, who had decided to call My Shining Thing! again now that Wakaba had shut up, Kozue followed closely now especially happy since she had finally been able to grab Miki's shirt and tear it from him. Juri had stopped drooling but her eyes had glazed over in ecstasy. Chu-Chu had joined the procession after Juri for no apparent reason but Anthy was running after him fervently. Wakaba still fumed on the side lines, Then the crazy line of drugged (Katie-sama had decided) Utena cast members. Utena now contemplating whether or not to turn around and kick Touga's ass ran as fast as ever, Touga still pursued, now smiling and murmuring something about straight jackets, Miki followed more determined than ever trying to grab Touga's pants, Kozue bounded happily after still playing with Miki's shirt. Juri had managed to grab another article of clothing on the way through Katie-sama's dorm and was inspecting it happily she was no longer pursued by Chu-Chu, Anthy had caught him, Juri was now being followed by Anthy herself, who was not really following Juri but rather running from Saionji who ran after her and had already managed to lose his shirt and was spouting something about hidden love. At the site of Saionji Wakaba gladly joined the ranks again losing own share of clothing on the way.   
E-chan read, occasionally glancing up to see who had lost more clothes. Katie-sama watched avidly, this is the best show I've seen in forever, she thought. E-chan wondered whether or not to yell to Utena something about why doesn't she take a different route instead of running circles around his and Katie's dorms. He decided better of it though, why ruin the fun? he thought. Back again came the line of Utena cast members an ever maddening Utena followed by an ever stimulated Touga though this time he was pursued by a very concerned Nanami whose calls of Big Brother! drowned out Miki's calls of My Shining Thing! though his shining thing was no longer Touga's zipper (thank Dios) but now it was Nanami's shirt which was a unusually shiny yellow. Kozue pursued Miki fervently, frustrating that she couldn't get a hold of anymore of his clothing. Juri was one step away from drowning in her own drool over the nearly naked Kozue. Anthy still ran from Saionji "I'm not engaged to you anymore!" she cried desperately but Saionji wouldn't have any of it and begin talking about hidden love again. Wakaba chased Saionji happily delighted at how much of his clothes she managed to apprehend.  
E-chan's eyebrow went up as a shirtless Nanami bounded by followed by a very happy Miki molesting Nanami's defenseless shirt. Okay,, he thought, scary, scary, scary. Then although some Utena characters were still leaving through one door, in through the other door came Utena, followed by the ever *stimulated* Touga. Nanami followed Touga avidly calling Big Brother! to try and devert his attention from Utena. Nanami was no longer pursued by Miki but Mitsuru followed her instead, trying to protect her from Miki. That was in vain though because Miki had lost interest in Nanami and was only interested on the amazingly shiny buttons on Mitsuru's shirt. Miki was still being followed by Kozue who had managed to put Miki's shirt back on him so she could have the pleasure of ripping it off again, and she did. Juri had now lost some of her own clothes and Anthy still ran from Saionji but threw Juri's discarded clothes over her shoulder to distract Saionji and it worked briefly since he thought it was Anthy herself losing clothes. Wakaba ran after him happily trying to grab any clothes off of him she could and was also briefly distracted by Juri's discarded clothes being thrown about.   
As the Utena cast raced through the dorm once more Akio showed up curious about the extremely high percentage of nearly naked Utena characters concentrated in Katie-sama's dorm. Akio noticed E-chan sitting seemingly uninterested in the corner, maybe he needs motivation, he thought, with that thought Akio walked over to E-chan and cooed quietly, "I bet you'd look cuter without that silly outfit on," E-chan looked up and recognition smacked him upside the head like a dead fish. He *eeped* and ran like the wind to escape but had to content himself to run behind Wakaba to escape the ever more *stimulated* Akio. Katie-sama seeing her friend in horrible distress decided to be the bigger person and go save her friend from Akio, it didn't strike her however that she was running after Akio in a straight jacket (bad idea,).  
The procession ran through once more and Dios watched apprehensively from the roof, this will be bad unless I do something, he thought. Just as he was thinking that Utena got the cataclysmic idea to stop, so she did,, right by the Akio car, as Touga happily ran into Utena, and Nanami extremely happily ran into her brother's bare back and Mitsuru ran smack into Nanami, Miki was bubbling with joy as he glomped into the pretty buttons he was pursuing. Kozue jumped happily on top of her vulnerable, distracted, brother. Utena was beginning to strain against the heaving pile of fellow cast members trying her damnedest not to fall in the ever closer Akio car. Juri gladly pushed herself into the *barely* clad Kozue. Anthy cried out because she knew,, too late, Saionji was atop her and they were both part of the ever growing mass of Utena characters. Wakaba laughed evilly and leaped into the air to land right on top of Saionji with a satisfied *umph!* E-chan cursed aloud and was forced into Wakaba by the *very stimulated* Akio. Katie-sama let out a terrifying, bloodcurdling battle cry and leaped into the air to vanquish Akio, just as she impacted Utena lost her grip,, the piled high characters were in the air almost in the Akio car,, Then a huge, Olympic size, pool appeared beneath them, and they fell in, missing the Akio car by along shot, in a tangle of arms and legs. Dios nodded approvingly, all in a days work, he thought.  
  
Chapter 3  
Katie-sama awoke once again imediatly aware that she was in a sraight jacket. E-chan! she thought, why?!?!? didn't you take me out of this thing?!?! Then she heard the loud music coming from E-chan's apartment, what the?!? she thought. Then again recognition smacked upside the head like a dead salmon being slapped against the land, *whap* came the revalation, Mission Impossible music. Oh My Dios,, she thought, Lord, please save me from whatever it is he plans to do. Dios did appear once again but just shook his head and said in his amazingly manly voice, "I'm sorry but I can not interfere with this endeavor." Katie-sama shook her head pleadingly, "please!!" she said pitifully. Dios apologized with his eyes and disappeared, *dammit* she said in a quiet, frustrated voice.  
Over in E-chan's apartment, he was decked out in, dare I say, *special* clothing.  
He was wearing a spandex suit that stuck to his lithe swimmers body, large weapons of various type hung from him like hundreds of unnamed appendages, and he had black war paint smudged on his angry face. "I will get you for this....." he hissed through gritted teeth. *What in the HELL is he talking about?!?!* thought Katie-sama desperately *and who is he going to get?!* then it struck her, *Akio still has his steel stopwatch, Oh My Goodness,* she thought dumbfoundedly, *I feel sorry for Akio.. but, at least it's not me!!*   
Akio sat in his office, not worried about anything. *i wonder if anything... interesting is going to happen today?* he thought, sipping on his random iced drink.  
Touga walked into Akio's office, hips swaying provocatively, he raised one eyebrow playfully. "Maybe you would like to demonstrate to me the meaning of the commomly used word... manipulate, hhm?" he almost cooed. Akio lazily removed himself from his leather couch, "maybe I would..." he purred in his knee-melting manly voice. Touga placed his hand on Akio's shoulder, "maybe I could give you a lesson also, hhm?" he questioned playfully. "perhaps," Akio cooed softly, grabbing Touga's hand and leading him to one of the leather couches. Let's start the lesson now," said Akio commandingly, reaching for his belt.  
Katie-sama screamed, mentally and physically, *AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!*, "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!", simotameously. *must... not... think.. about... dream... ugh, Dios help me,* she thought. Dios did not appear however, really what did you expect, he said once he couldn't interfere. *Sheesh* thought the author.   
E-chan burst into Katie-sama's dorm, "you... must... help... me..." he said, straining against strong rage that roared in his ears. His eyes cleared momentarily, "wait, why did you scream?" he asked turning his head from side to side suspicously, pulling out a ridiculously big gun. "I had a.. very... special dream," she said sheepishly. "What about?" E-chan asked still swiveling his head but squinting curiously to catch any movement he might have missed. "Akio... Touga... doing, something..." she nearly choked in fear. "Ah, I always new you liked Akio," he said nonchalantly. Katie-sama was up and off the bed in aproximately 2.3 seconds. "WHAT?!?!" she protested loudly, very loudly.   
"You like Akio," E-chan repeated calmly. "I like no such thing!" screeched Katie-sama indignantly. "Whatever, come on let's go."   
  
  



End file.
